"Cleveland Rocks"

We've all seen it:


Drew Carey Show

We know it:
"I'll move to Cleveland, the day you get that IKEA."
http://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi2380267545/
30 Rock

I'm pretty sure that the 2000s got it right. The 90s are out, Carey.

Cleveland does not rock. We're with you Lemon.

dear bike riding.

you are a formidable way to get exercise without paying a gym membership fee.

however. you are not free. nay. you cost my body both time and money. the chiropractor wasn't working out. $250 down the drain. the very cost of a bicycle, upwards of a hundo. a bike light. stolen. or lost. whichever. doesn't matter. fifteen bones cast to the wind.

while you're still the best mode of transport this side of a flat earth, you are no easy feat.

spring, i welcome you. riding will be better. it gets better.

dear nora

My best friend Nora Ephron and I have spent the better part of a week together. It's always fun when a friend arrives from out of town to visit. But I do feel awful that I've been so busy with work and shows. And, yes, of course she understands. What sort of bestie wouldn't? But, what sort of bestie would I be if I didn't feel bad?

I read her book, "I Remember Nothing," and I laughed a lot. But sort of that inwards laugh, that stifled comedian laugh, where I'm jealous that you made my body incapable of resisting reaction. The sort of laughter that a best friend can instigate, one that I wished I could in her.

I'm sure anyone can gather when you have a best friend of such esteem, it's hard to be in the shadow. But, alas, I suppose I understand now how she must have felt with her old best friend, Lillian Helm. I'm jealous of her relationship with Lil as well, I must admit.

It's not fair though. Oh well. I still love her. Even though we're unreciprocated bestfriends.

hiatus

also. sorry for the hiatus. this is directed mostly at my friend rebecca and brother kevin who keep bugging me to write.

If you're 5 feet or below, you're a midget.

This doesn't even make sense, guys. I mean, sure. You're short. Sure, you're petite. — But are you disproportionate? If the answer is no, then you're not a legal midget. I might also add that midget is actually a perjorative term, so maybe say something else.

Acceptable terms include: little person and dwarf. I know, I'm a little surprised too. Those seem worse.

According to Wikipedia, a midget is sometimes described as someone below the height of 4'10. Whew. Just made it.